My beautiful addiction?

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I have a confession to make. I’m a bit of a beauty addict.

I am subscribed to at least four different hair and makeup channels on YouTube, I’m an active member of beautyheaven.com.au (to the point of being invited to join their Trial Teams for new products) and I have two overflowing drawers of accumulated hair and beauty tools and products.

My interest originally developed, to be honest, out of procrastination. During my HSC, I watched hair and makeup tutorials as a break from studying, and although this probably wasn’t the best use of my time, it did open my eyes to the world of beauty, and just how fascinating and fun it can be. Makeup and beauty demonstrate fashion trends and cultural movements, and they are fun to try and experiment with. Plus, my newfound expertise meant that I could do my sister’s makeup for her Year 10 formal and she looked stunning, if I do say so myself J (though she always does, not only when she’s had her makeup done!)

Makeup and beauty can be seen as many different things: a way to hide your real self, a way to improve your real self, a hobby, a way of fitting in or a way of standing out. Almost all Australian teenage girls have, at some point, worn makeup and enjoyed the feeling it gives. However, some girls feel that they have to wear makeup. I could go into the media impacts here, but everyone already knows that girls struggle with how women are portrayed in the media as flawless and stunning. I’d prefer to look at the fact that some girls find that other people look down on them for being frumpy and lazy when they don’t wear makeup. This comes mostly from other girls and women, who are the ones that notice who is and isn’t wearing makeup. A flawless, well-blended face is looked at by other females and approved of, whereas a slightly red, rough complexion can be seen as a lack of caring about one’s image. Which, of course, should be a positive thing, but somehow our image-obsessed society has become convinced that if you don’t care about how you look to others, there is something socially wrong with you.

I have fallen prey to the pressure of this society, as many girls do. If I was just going to the shops, I never used to bother with makeup, but now I feel awful looking in a fitting room mirror if I haven’t put any one. I didn’t wear makeup at school (mostly because it wasn’t allowed and I was a ridiculously obsessive rule-follower) and really only started wearing it more than twice a month within the last two months. Mostly I did this because I felt, bizarrely, that people were looking down on me for not wearing it when I wasn’t. Not so much my really close friends, but acquaintances and even people I served in my retail job. I sometimes got comments like ‘you look tired’ when I wasn’t wearing makeup, and certainly no compliments when I left the house without my foundation. This is all part of the perfect-image-obsessed society we live in!

Yet at the same time, girls who are deemed to be wearing “too much makeup” or spending too much time on their faces are labelled as vain. We are stuck in an endless spiral where no one is perfect except the girl who has perfect skin or the one who has practiced her routine so much that she can be in and out of the bathroom in five minutes looking flawless and no one has to know how long she spent honing her craft.

Now I’m not sure what to do. Maybe my hobby has become more than that – maybe it’s become some sort of horrible addiction brought on by peer pressure. Because instead of feeling great while experimenting with eyeshadow shades, suddenly I don’t feel good about leaving the house without makeup.